Crazyheart Review

Wow, def an interesting run for me this month. Just saw Crazy Heart with Jeff Bridges. Funny thing too. I was soooo not wanting to check it out but yet again I was like "Alright, just for a couple of minutes." Just the night before I'd put on the new Benicio Del Torro "Wolfman" flick (What? My Friend works for a major distributor...yeah, what can I say, if you're a film buff figure out a way to not have to pay for that ish ;-) and was literally falling asleep after 15 minutes. Wolfman was a pathetic excuse for getting butts in theatre seats. Crazy Heart on the other hand was a film goers wet dream. Excellent from the first frame to the last.

Sad thing is the Marketers for Crazy Heart had it all wrong. The movie preview for Crazy Heart put my ass to sleep. They seemed to be marketing for a 45 years and older crowd. There was no way I was going to see that film, even if Bridges himself called me up and was like "Hey Achilles, come see my new film..."

Then again maybe that's why the film was a total surprise to me. Seriously, after watching this film I literally have a new respect for Country music. Having lived in Texas for over 14 years I hated Country Music. Seriously HATED it. I still do, but after watching this movie I'm like "Alright, I won't judge anymore."

Everyone of the cast members was brilliant. The flow of the film was great and yes, you could say that in this film Jeff Bridges is like an older Big Lebowski (which is mad cool if you loved watching the Big Lebowski like I did, and still do ;-).

Bridges really shows his amazingness here. Then again I find him to have always been a very exceptional actor.

PLOT:

Bridges plays 'Bad Blake', a famed country singer who's past his prime and looking like his next gig is going to be in a casket. We see him at his worst driving in a beat up suburban from shitty gig to shitty gig. He still has an agent and he can still rock a show. The man has talent and integrity (which is what pretty much gets him through the whole movie...in a good way though... as it shows that hard work can build integrity, and with integrity you really are nothing).

He's an alcoholic, who lives what he writes and sings, comes with the territory. Through the film we see all the characters in Crazyheart having to change there ways to cater to their environments. Bad Blake decides to stay the same, from not wanting to put out new songs, or stop drinking etc. and in the end we see how much this will have an effect on his well being, and survival at that.

We know men like Blake far too well. He could be your Uncle or Cousin or even your Father. There's a bit of Bad Blake in all of us.

Why write about this film?

I don't even like Country music yet this movie def makes me keep an open to appreciating someones craft. I guess since I'm an artist myself I'm very keen to watch who and what I judge. I basically make it a point in my life to NEVER judge. Whether it's music, religion, sexual beliefs etc. Judging will get you in trouble, except when watching movies and seeing if they sucked balls or not ;-P

Who to watch this with:

Any super smart and witty film goer who understands and appreciates good drama and acting.

Cool chicks who appreciate good art and who are super hot and don't wear granny panties.

Positive high energy people.

Who not to watch this with:

Girls who wear Granny Panties, or who are boring. Someone who doesn't have a sense of humor. Older people who have a chip on their shoulder. People who are always feeling sorry about themselves.

Movie Review: Gone Baby Gone

Just finished watching a movie with one of the worst titles ever: Gone baby Gone.

But don't worry, the fact that this is one amazing film makes up for it, tenfold. As far as the title goes they could have named it "Jar Jar Binks is Back" and it wouldn't have mattered. This film holds its own: Originality, Directing, Acting, Cinematography...the list goes on and on.

Why am I writing about it when tons of good films come out each year and get the notoriety they "deserve", i.e proper marketing campaign? Because being in the age demographic of 21-30 I heard squat about this film. Matter a fact I'm wondering if this movie was only marketed to senior citizens who watch Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune every night at 6:30pm (eastern standard time). Sure I don't tend to ever "want" to watch thriller and dramas about kids being kidnapped but maybe that's why I found this film to be so amazing. For the fact that it was all of the above and turned out to be one of the most interesting films I've seen since Children of Men or District 9 (Two films that have nothing to do with GBG's genre).

It takes alot for me to post up a film on this blog. Seriously, movies are reviewed and reviewed over and over again whether good or bad. And yes, I watch almost all of them (because I simply enjoy watching movies), but for me to sit and write about it. Yes, shit better be cathartic...epic.

PLOT:

Cassey Affleck (In one of the best performances I've seen him portray ever in a movie since his bit part in Good Will Hunting) plays a sort of Private detective who helps find missing children/people with his Girl friend/partner Michelle Monaghan. When a child from the area is, you guessed it, missing, they child's Uncle and wife seek Affleck's services. As Affleck goes about investigating everything isn't what it seems to be. And yes, all hell breaks loose with Affleck caught right in the middle.

This movie had me sucked in from the first 5 minutes. Having just done an IMDB search 20 seconds ago I have just found that this film was directed by Ben Affleck. This is shocking to me. Very shocking. I went into this film not knowing who the hell directed it. Why I even wanted to watch it is still making me wonder (other than the fact that I saw that it had high ratings on IMDB and then having read the review by MikeKuch, which was awesome btw, I decided to give it a shot). I seriously love watching anything that Entertains and movies like this usually do the opposite.

WHY:

This movie will make you think about what's REALLY right and what's REALLY wrong. Do you have what it takes to do the right thing? And is the right thing to do REALLY the right thing to do? Can you live with and stand by the decisions you make when everyone (including those who you love and love you back) is against you...when those closest to you will more than likely alienate you.

Well acted with an all star A-list cast (and no name cast that also did an astounding job) that includes Morgan Freeman, Ed Harris, and the fat dude cop who was in Beverly Hills Cop 2 and 3.

I personally love films that make me think about "What if this was me in that situation, or what if I knew people like this, how would I feel?" and GBG does that, flawlessly.

Just when you think the film is going end in the good ol' fashioned way we've seen all these types of films play out it quickly slaps you in the face with some "Hell No Muthafucka, this shit here is Original, Enjoy!!" and makes you sit back and say, "Damn, that felt good, thank you for bringing some clever amazingness to the table..." and then it makes you think that those in Hollywood actually do make decent decisions when making films and not all films in Hollywood are designed to appease the masses, i.e the people who don't like to think, or read and like watching reality TV more than actually trying to live in the Real Life.

Who to watch this film with:

Alone when everyone is asleep and all is quiet. With another serious film watcher who appreciates films like such. The fewer the people the better. This film is not what I would call a crowd pleaser. It will surface alot of guilt in everyone (and believe me, if you're over 21 you've definitely made some mistakes in life that made you think twice "doing" or not "doing" the "right thing."

Who not to watch this film with:

Anyone younger than 21 (unless they are very mature and act like an older person).

Girls you're trying to lay that same night (Go ahead and watch it with them if you've already had sex ;-)

Friends from High school or College. Parents.

The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans

There comes time when a movie just knocks me off my feet. Maybe I was expecting something and it gave me the opposite reaction which is why I was more or less shocked etc. Maybe it's got my fav actor/actress, or Director/Producer. Regardless of all that I came across The Bad Lieutenant and must say that it is one of the best films I've seen this fucking year.

Inglorious Bastards was great, District 9 was fucking amazing. The Bad Lieutenant, in my opinion, is just as amazing, if not more so than those two huge blockbusters. Sure I'm being a dick in trying to compare movies that have nothing to do with this genre, but fuck that, it's a bad ass movie that deserves props. If you like Nicolas Cage but hated how he was making whack ass movies Post Face Off (though the Lord of War was pretty amazing as well ;-) then you'll love this movie.

Hell, this movie is so good that I vote for this muthafucka to get best actor at the Oscars.


Plot:

The film is set in New Orleans post Katrina where Louisiana is still picking from all the prior chaos. Cages character Terrance is a damn good Detective who does things a bit on the illegal side when it comes to getting justice to be served. There are plenty of times in the movie where I'm like "this dude is evil." But yes, he's an anti hero to the exponent of 50.
Some cases that need to be solved, Terrance's involvement in some stuff that would make anybody else with out a confident frame jump off a bridge from the pressure, and some great twists and turns make this a quite refreshing film for the Crime/Drama genre.

This film takes all the stereo types in most of these movies and literally gives them an amazing uplift. The dad who drinks himself to death, the prostitute with the heart of gold etc... but they are all the most so interesting and complex in this film.


Cast:

Amazingly cast. Cage carries the whole film on his shoulders and succeeds very well at it.
There's something about a movie that has a very strong male lead. Eva Mendes is mad hot and does a great job at playing her part. Hell, every actor from Val Kilmer to fucking Xzibit did an awesome job.


The film is directed by German legend Werner Herzog. I don't remember what he made off the top of my head (Grizzly Man, Rescue Dawn) but I can remember in my German's in Hollywood class when my instructor talked about him. Gave the man nothing but praise. And after seeing this movie (I wasn't to impressed with Grizzly Man) I steadfastly apologize for ever doubting his artistic creativity.


Why Cage's Character is the Man:

Yeah he's got flaws, and pretty sick ones at that (he's a coke addict and takes pain killers for a bad back, smokes crack, steals from the evidence room etc.) but one thing he never falters on is his ability to never break his frame when ever crazy shit hits the fan. He's a guy who stands up to anything and anyone. And this is what women are crazy about. No he's not picking up mad chicks in this film but the ones that he does have, you can bet that they aren't going any where any time soon. More so they're ready to do crazy shit for him if need be.
How can you tell when a man is grounded down to the root? Put him in the position that Cages character and watch him come out without even shitting a brick and handling every situation hands down that comes his way.



This Film is by far one of the most clever, well written, films of its kind.



Who to watch this movie with:

People who love smart vulgar films. Anyone over 17 who's into kinky shit and free minded about things like drugs and sex. Definitely watch it with girls you're trying to hook up with.


Who not to watch this movie with:

Anyone who's very religious. Your Parents (though my parents are kind of cool so it wouldn't be bad to watch it with them), especially if they haven't even acknowledged or even asked that you're having sex with other women/men yet.

Four Christmas

So it's coming around to that time of Xmas and the holidays. Just had TG dinner and it was immaculate so I thought I'd sit back and watch a Holiday themed film (and yes, there wasn't anything else on to watch at the moment so why not broaden my horizons and jump back into the one field of film genre I usually tend to avoid: the screwball Comedy ;-). But wow was I surprised at how good Four Christmas actually was.

Who ever created the screen play "gets it." Watch the first 5 minutes of the movie and you'll understand what I mean....which is...We see both of our main characters interact and it's sheer genius: in a nut shell Vince Vaughn's character Brad walks up to Witherspoon's Kate and tries to pick her up. He uses all the basic boring "Interview" questions to get her interacting and she's blowing him off. Then he turns it around, starts being a very cocky self confident man, and literally says everything that, in actuality, does spark attraction (though very comedically vulgar, if said in the right tonality it will get you results etc.). We soon see that they actually knew each other but the way it was played out was genius, and from what I've seen and experienced out in the Social meat market I can say that what Vince Vaughn says to Reese Witherspoon in this film is what sparks attraction in women.

I've been dragged to my fair share of shit chick flick disasters by my older sisters and female friends and this film was not one of them.

To the critics:

Yeah, it got a bad wrap on IMDB. I guess people who actually like to see chick flicks were probably shocked and disgusted. But you could say that this film just gained another fan for the genre.

Why? Because this film is balanced. Watch Ghosts of girlfriends past, watch How to lose a guy in ten days, watch bride wars (which I saw like the first 10 minutes and then had to stop so I could go and watch grass grow). All those films have the same thing in common: They really make the male feel guilty as fuck for not conforming to what today's social norms really push for. It really makes the girls feel like dumbasses for sleeping with more than one guy.

Is it me or did every conservative American out there forget that it's 2009 and people like to have sex ;-)

By no means am I talking about a revolution and totally endorsing films that promote sexual options with plenty of partners (safely). I'm simply saying to stop brainwashing women and men by feeling guilty with what those films are instilling, which is: Get married, have kids.... blah blah blah...

Understand the reason why most chick flicks are super horrible to watch with anyone you would like to have sex with afterwards is that it they are very unbalanced and make the male feel mad guilty about not "poppin the question" or "Settling down", and make the female feel very guilty for wanting to fuck every cool guy that hits on her (I'm indifferent and choose not to judge on either spectrum, but understand that the pendulum swings both ways).

And I know these films are made independently etc. What I want to know is why more films like "Four Christmas" aren't being green lit to help balance out the influx of "Couples Retreat" and "Twilight: New Moon." Sure, Money might be a plausible answer but I think it def more complex than that.

Four Christmas is a film about "Honesty" both with yourself and your significant other and what it takes to get to that level. Not living in denial and being able to trust and respect one another.
You see all spectrums of life from each person our main characters run into, from the poor couples to the rich couples to the divorced older people (Yes, in this movie it's understood that people do get divorced and move on etc.). You see how each couple, no matter what sort of income they have, interact with each other, and it's almost real with how they acted it all out. Real is what you make of it but I did like how this film didn't try to hit people over the head with the whole "You need to have a secure job and good education in order to have a good family...."
Those traits do obviously help when trying to form a family but understand that without Trust, honesty, and respect for one another, money and a good resume will only get you so far.


Beautifully written and amazingly Cast. I thought Vince Vaughn to be a wash out doing the same ol renditions (which he still kind of does) but his performance in this film could be easily compared to that of Wedding Crashers or even the first Swingers. Reese Witherspoon was hilarious. Never saw this coming from someone like her (American Psycho, Legally Blond). On screen they had a quite a dynamic that made you wondering what they were going to say next.

As the movie progresses we begin to see each Vaughn's and Witherspoon's characters' flaws that they'd tried to keep from one another in order to look more attractive. And they had a pretty good thing going for a while until spending a couple of hours with their family members made them realize how whack it was to be living a lifestyle of fakeness (Her character never even knew Vaughn's real name etc.)

Yeah, the ending was sort of Hollywooded up but everything flowed very well in this movie. Not too long, not too short. And I can't help but big up the Diaglogue. Soooo Good ;-)

Alot of men and women who are trying to "Better" themselves, become their "best selves" will relate to this film. One like thing: I loved how this film dealt with some pretty crazy topics dealing with self esteem etc. and still was able to keep it upbeat. There was a very nice line to what they did with the comedy and the shock and awe. Well done makes of Four Christmas. Keep up the good work ;-)



Who to watch this film with: Anyone you're looking to hook up with after wards. Friends, Family. People who like to see interesting movies etc.


Who Not to watch this film with: Anyone who doesn't like to have a good time. Immature women who think sex should only be had during marriage. People who don't get good humor.
Super Religious people.

Twilight: New Moon Review

I've never read the books (for you die hard Twilight fans who just read that sentence, let that allow you to stop reading...then again allow me to instill the "you don't have to try crack to know that it's bad for you" arguement)...but hells no is that going to stop me from writing about this (I used 1.3 hours of my time to watch so now here's the trade off).

Yeah, I didn't read the novel but that doesn't mean I have no idea what the word "Entertaining" means.

There's a great term I learned about in Production class called cross promoting/marketing etc. You write a book. The publishing company of that book (considering that it becomes a big hit) is also owned by the same people who own a movie studio and toy factory and god knows what else. There used to be a law that made it impossible to be able to use cross promoting/marketing etc. I can't recall the details but that law no longer exists and everyone is using it to their advantage (I'm have no judgement on this issue, it's simply what's happening...and frankly I can't tell if it's good or bad, nor is it my place to say so ;-)

Back to this movie in question. Well, for starters it is not an entertaining movie. Yes, the New Moon movie was pretty boring and cheesy if you ask me. Should you shocked? May be not lol. While watching I couldn't help but notice the genius behind it though. They are using the same formula as the Harry Poter Series: One movie per book. And it's working amazingly. This movie gave me nothing more than that of "Please wait for the next film to come to find out what happens next." Hell. Pretty damn genius.

The first movie I can think of that had the balls to pull the whole "We're going to end this movie with a fat 'To be contnued' sign on it" was Back to the future II into Back to the future III. And man was I livid when that happened. Imagine having seen BTTF II in the theatre and having that happen. People must have rioted. But now it's regular for that to happen. And that's exactly what this 4 part book series Twilight is doing.

Personally it's whack, but for die hard 13 year old teenie bopper fans who the love the fact that their favorite characters are now on the big screen, I understand that all logic understanding on what makes a good movie is out the window for them. They're more likely to care about how cool the Vampire guy Edward looks in his clothes or how awesome it is to be Vampire etc.

WHY am I reviewing this movie?

Becuase I want to warn everyone from having to go see it with their significant other. From what I hear the novels are very very "Teen Romance." As in, if you love watching the Day time soaps on TV you'll probably love the New Moon. Why? Because in the course of 1.3 hours NOTHING HAPPENS. Well, things happen but it's more like "TV Show" happens. TV episodes have this sort of pace where they want to keep the viewers watching for the next week. Only with Films it's kind of whack because you have to literally wait another year.

Yes, there are movies that did a great job in giving the viewers enough to chew on to where they can wait for the next sequel with out feeling robbed (District 9 is a great example of this...sequel or no sequel it stands on its own as a quite good film from start to finish ;-).

Twilight is heavy on the Romeo and Juliet love formula. Bella loves Edward just as he yearns for her. The sexual tension stems from the fact that he is vampire and she is a human which basically makes her meat for him and his vampire peeps. They go the whole movie trying to figure that out.

Sidenote: I just went on IMDB and read some reviews, and thankfully plenty people who've read all four books are very open to mention how whack of a film it is. They hate the acting, the dialogue etc. Take it from a fresh mind who has no idea what the series is about: It's simply a bad film, but if that's not enough for you take it from the die hard book fans who also couldn't stand it as a movie. The reason why bring this is up is because I love it when people use the whole "You haven't read the novels so you wouldn't understand" argument.


It's true women love the idea of this movie and they will simply pay the money to see it because it has to do with romance and vampires. The movie made 141 million its first weekend (that's how strong the books are...they have a serious fan base...it's mind blowing really, something I'm def going to do more research on).

I ended up having to watch it with a good female friend of mine (Who I love spending time with and have known for quite a while) and boy was I falling asleep. The ending of the film (which I won't ruin) was simply bad. Bad, bad, bad. An episode of Saved by the Bell would have sufficed better than that ending.


It's films like this that make me cringe at the film industry (which is based on making money first and entertaining the people second). They'd rather put out something halfass because the schedule permits it as so and because they know that they will make a killing by playing it safe (i.e PG 13 vs Rated R etc.....why not make Twilight into a very dark serious film...push the envelope etc....). It's a fine line between making movies that are entertaining to watch and movies that designed to get butts in seats or fill venture capitalist pockets (More power to them, hell, If I'd had the opportunity to invest in a film like Twilight you're damn right I would have done it. Sure it's a high cost but the risk is very minimal, even for film standards, and the gain is very very beneficial). Fans hate the film but investors love it. LOL, go figure.

Let's get into the dynamic between the characters. Edward is the all dreamy Alpha Male Vampire who can do no wrong and is desired by all females. He's very chill yet will not hesitate to act when pushed to do so. Then you have some one like Bella who is the stereo typical 'average girl.' Every woman, and believe me when I say, EVERY WOMAN sees her herself (subconsciously) as a Bella in some way/shape/form. Watching Bella go through the motions in the film will bring back memories for all these girls who, at one point in time, had crushes of the own for guys like Edward. Maybe they were dumped or too shy to act or cheated on or the guy moved away etc...The metaphors can go on for miles. Why do you think the very average looking Kristen Stewart was cast and not a heart throb like Megan Fox (which would make guys flock to see it by the millions? Kristen Stewart is the type of actress that looks like she's going to commit suicide for someone telling her she looks fat today. Had they cast a hotter chick I could have def understood why everyone in the movie would be vying for her love and attention.

They you have the Jacob were wolf character. Even the fact that he's now a Were wold can't save him from the sad slot of Wussyness he's put himself in. It's so true what they say, how a woman isn't driven by logic but by her emotions. Everything Jacob tells her is spot on yet she ends up not listening to his warnings and choosing Edward again and again because simply put, YOU CAN'T Convince a girl with LOGIC. You've got to get down and dirty with her emotions. Guys suck at this. Many men will remain door mats for women they adore to walk all over because they cannot trigger a woman's emotions.


If you simply must watch Twilight here's something for you to do so you won't fall asleep too quick: Observe the way Edward carries himself around Bella and then observe all the other men in the film and they way they carry themselves around Bella (especially the ones who also have a thing for her) There's a big difference. She's not head over heals for Edward just because he's a vampire (but yes, that is part of the formula). My point is that every guy has his own "Vampire" in him that girls will find irresistible. It's already within you. You just have to figure out a way to get it out. You can't fake authenticity. And they is no one way to do it.



Who You Should go see this Movie with:

If you must go see it with your little Sister/cousin etc. It was created for 13 years olds, sadly enough.



DO NOT SEE IT WITH:

+ Women you are trying to get intimate with. I'm talking a girl who you've never had sex with and would like to have sex with. If you go watch it with her know that you are making it all the harder to get her naked that same day. I personally don't go to the movies with girls I'd like to get intimate with but that's a whole other topic for another thread ;-)

Paranormal Activity...sucked.....Spoilers ahead

I'll cut right to it. This movie is getting praise that only Mother Theresa should have gotten when she died (which she didn't because it all went to Princess Diana...tisk tisk...no one wants to talk about a bag of bones when you have a nice piece of ass, fast cars and drunk drivers...lol).

Browsing IMDB people where saying things like "This movie Physically affected me..."

WTF, really!? That must have been written by someone who hasn't been laid in god knows how long. I watched it. I was actually hoping for something Original, something amazing.

In the end I came out more envious that this Film director (clever man indeed ;-) had fooled everyone into buying into this load of shit.

This movie is very interesting though because it has to deal with every aspect of what being an Alpha Male is all about. Basically, you DO NOT ever want to act like the Male lead character in this movie. This should be a "how not to ever act when you have a girlfriend" lesson.

Obviously for movie purposes it was hyped up with ghosts and haunted shit but seriously, don't ever act like Micha the dumbass who let his own girl friend stab him (something, after seeing the constant mistakes Micha kept making, he pretty much deserved)

Reasons why you shouldn't ever act like Micha:

1. Because you Will end up with a fate far worse than the one he got in the film.

And that its lol. At least he died.

In reality what will happen is that his girlfriend would soon realize that she was dealing with a total wuss bag that she can bend to her every whim and eventually dump his ass or even worse, cheat on him with a more dominant Male (or this in case, the ghost...I bet that ghost was getting her to suck him off etc...lol).

And this has nothing to do with the actual ghost situation. That was just for entertainment part. If you look deeper you'll see that this couple is one of very stereo typical settings. Boyfriend and Girlfriend living together. They love each other alot. But only after minutes of watching you realize that the boyfriend has no control of the relationship. It's all Katie. Micha is simply along for the ride. He's a provider and the amount of sex we saw them having in the film (which was zero) is probably the only Non Fictional part...you know, where they say shit like "based on real events...." lol.

Some examples of where Micha fucked up (and I know it was a movie script, I'm simply doggin the director for writing a male character who was a total dumbass chode...it's bullshit and terrible writing at that...)

And yes, Micha only has himself to blame for getting shanked the way he did at the end of the flick. The signs were all there....shit, he even recorded it on a video camera and rewatched it. True be told there are many men out there like this. Shit is right in front of them and they can't even see it (I'm not talking about ghosts either, I'm talking about social cues).

- He gets a Ouija board and when Katie flips out he hides his tail between his legs and apologizes immensely. What he needed to have done was to say "What the fuck Katie, you have no clue what you're talking about, you've been getting tormented by this ghost for way too long....shut the fuck up and realize that I'm doing this for your own good..."

That shows that no matter how wrong he may be he doesn't give a fuck and will do whatever it takes to defend his home.


- He doesn't seek help from the outside and shuns Katie for even bringing it up.

Does this guy have a small dick? Was he picked on as child at school? Does he even have a back bone? Super idiotic and just plain Ego driven to not get some professional help (on with the whole "never asking for directions formula") especially when you're girl's life is fucking DANGER.

What pisses me off is that the director can still write garbage like this and people buy into it. "Yeah, men are too proud to ask for help....that's why Micha didn't want to..." is what I can already hear people arguing. Fine, I understand that this couple is fucked in the head from the moment they start recording each other but seriously, don't make it seem like that's how everyone is (which is what happens when you write characters like that....people watch it and then they start to generalize that Everyone is like that etc.....whack and total bullshit.."

Yes, believe it or not you Mr. Director of PA are responsible for the film viewers actions. You made a film that will be watched by millions. Tread softly. You have a huge influence (not to mention a huge bank account now ;-)

- Micha has no idea about the book "Way of the Superior Man by David Detta"

Read it. And read it again. I assure you, you will not end up stabbed and dead like this film.

- Micha was not on his own path

We literally see him stop working for focus on his girlfriends issue. She ends up hating him for it too. How so? Well, every time Micha tries to come up with a solution for something Katie is always doubting it and him. How can he put up with such bullshit?! Thank god it's a movie but I know actual men who are living far worse nightmares than any movie can display. Does Micha even have guys friends that he goes out with, plays poker with etc.?

Does he hang out with Katie 24/7?


Aside from all the psychological bullshit, this movie is very non entertaining. I found myself checking my watch, getting tired of same horrible camera angles. Yes it was a low budget film but after all the "great" reviews everyone decided to give it I feel inclined to snap some sense and let some of that helium out of everyone's head. The dialogue is very two dimensional.





Who to Watch this movie with:

Girls you are trying to fuck. You can pretty much play up how that dude Micha was total doosh and convey how different you are from guys like that (say things like "I would have never did that...what a dumbass...")

By yourself. Harmless. And if you hate it then you can walk out or delete it.


Who not to watch this movie with:

-Guy friends. You will literally lose interest and assuming you paid to see it wishing you had better spent your $11.00 at the strip club.

-Family members. Mom and Dad? Fuck that. Go to the museum with them. Don't take em to this shit.

-Girlfriend

She'll try to take you to go see it. Be strong and especially be not available. This is the sort of dribble hollywood wants couples to see. It's false and anyone who is in a relationship like this one is headed for the same doom (perhaps literally ;-P). It's the same bullshit you see on a chick flick. Where the chick flick is like "everyone should be married" this film is saying "everyone should be all up in each others shit and never seek help from the outside world." Don't fall for this junk. It's not the way life is, and if it's not the way life is why waste your time with it (unless you really want to waste your very valuable time.) Have her go with her friends and then discuss it later with her. That's about the best you can do.


So I like writing. I wrote all this to basically sum up how much this movie blows balls. For a low budget it's great. Props to the director for doing his thing and getting his shit made. Though I am harsh about this I still respect those who make shit, get shit done. Movies are not easy to make and I almost refrained from writing this for the fact that it was pretty negative. But I couldn't help it when I saw how Pick-Up related it was.

I could clean this post up but it's really fucking late (or early). Time for some rest ;-)

Train: One hell of a Ride

I won't bore you. I created this blog to discuss movies that may or may not be suitable to be watched with Women/men you are trying to bed/bang/fuck. Once that's in the bag though I still want to steer you clear of bad horrible movies that may waste your precious time, and point you in the direction of movies that are definitely worth the time.

Let's face it, we watch movies to "escape" from everyday normal life. I feel bad for people who watch the same movies over and over again. That's really trying to escape lol.

Train is a film that surprised me. For one I rarely watch horror/slasher flicks in that they almost always seem to disappoint. The plot is usually whack and every cast member deserves to die, as do the filmmakers in most cases ;-P

So yeah, people/fans/horror film lovers started to get tired of this formula indeed. We've had a ton of remakes, some bad (Chainsaw massacre anyone?) and some good (The hills have eyes part 1, Rob Zombies Halloween anyone?). The "Saws" and "Hostels" started to pop up, setting a new bar in film making. I'm not going to argue if those movies are actually good (I haven't even seen any of the hostels yet lol) but the whole point of those films seem to shed light on "hey, horror movies can be original and smart, and uncliche etc. etc. etc."

Train (2008), though some may be to argue it to be "hostel on a train", seems to have gone out of its way to twist a new way of killing tourists and taking their body parts. The film is clever, the editing flows well and keeps you watching until the end. Decent acting, top notch Special effects, and a tolerable plot (When I read the synopsis I was laughing in my head...but they actually pull it off in Train).

Plot: A group of American wrestlers are in Russia competing in a tournament. After one such tournament they sneak out to a party which makes them late the next day for their departure to the next country. The rest of team has already left and the coach waits for them in anger. They end up taking an alternate Train. Except this train is different. It's got a crazy chick doctor and her cronies aboard who take tourists and hack them up, selling their spare body parts to the highest bidder.

Is it Hostel?:
Like I mentioned before, I never saw the Hostel films (which I may or may not check out soon...my attention span for such films is very very short). The only reason why I saw this film was because I was mad bored and high after a night of DJing and it was easy to press play. If a film doesn't do it for me in the first 5 minutes I stop watching it and move onto something else. The film had no name actors. The acting wasn't the best but I would say that there was enough chemistry between the characters to where it was pulled off. The cinematography wasn't the best but it definitely had a certain aesthetic to it that you had to appreciate.

Though I didn't watch Hostel I'm going to bet my money that this film is nothing like Hostel. I'm going to bet that Train (2008) is on a more original take. The film maker of Train is def talented and onto something.

For starters the film had me guessing who the main protagonist was going to be. Right when I thought the film would have sympathy for x or y character you see them getting tortured in the most brutal way imaginable.

Did I mention that the special effects had me thinking of running to the bathroom to hurl everytime someone was being tortured/maimed. Who ever did the special effects, my hats off to you. Seriously, there were scenes that made me feel like a helpless bystander. I assume this film went straight to DVD when it came out so in my book it goes straight to B-Movie status. For a B-Movie the film is pretty amazing.

I wouldn't have put thousands of words into this review otherwise. Any film that makes me shudder at a specific scene when I close eyes and remember what I saw when I'm trying to go to sleep is worth writing about.


Example: There's a scene when one of the more alpha wrestlers is hanging naked about to be gutted (unknown to us they have plans on taking his eyes). He's still conscious so he kicks the lady doctor and she tells her "machine" helper to "do something about it" so the "machine" dude gets a scalpel, slices the back of the kids neck where you can see this spinal cord, gets a tiny hammer and, hammers a flat blade into a section of the kids spinal cord to where he goes limp (paralyzed from the neck down). When I saw that I was like "HOLY FUCK....AHHHHHhhh." There are tons of scenes like this. The opening credits (which are well done) def set the tone for the film, where we see a shadowed figured gutting a whole human body, from skinning it to chopping it up with an Axe lol. The difference between Train and cheesy B-movies is that this looks real. Real to the point where I had to keep watching (that whole vibe where you know you can't watch anymore because its so horrific but you're eyes keep watching for that very matter).

The characters in the film are like any characters in a horror film. At the beginning of Train I found myself guessing which of the characters were going to get killed and which ones weren't.

This movie pretty much fucks with every single character. Especially the men. The guys in this movie got it pretty bad.



Who to watch this With:

This is a perfect film to watch with a girl (make sure she's into horrible films though, as this is not for the light hearted, and a very melon collie, negative film...this film succeeds in making you never want to travel outside of the US to a foreign place...it scared the living shit out of me...)

I would not watch this film if you want to feel cheery afterwards. This film is not good to watch if you're watching it with a girl you have not yet had sex with. Even if you watch it with a girl you've had sex with you won't want to have sex after seeing Train.

Train is disturbing and very very bloody. I found myself cringing during some parts and I haven't done that since I read Bret Easton Ellis' book "American Psycho" (great film btw ;-), yet that's what made me have to keep watching more till it ended. This film brings out the Sadist in all of us. Though we hate to see it, we cannot help but watch the two guys bashing each others faces in outside the pub, or the MMA fight where one guys face is beat to pulp bleeding from all angles yet he still fights....etc.

I couldn't help but think how in the end we are all just Meat and bones, blood and guts.

I'd refrain from watching it with a group of people, this film if def a guilty pleasure "watch by yourself" type film.

I wrote about Train because this movie (from it appearance and synopsis) had "Terrible movie" written all over it. But it wasn't a bad movie at all. Def a surprise diamond in the rough and I have no problems shedding some light to others about it. I've been watching alot of movies (new, old, popular etc.) and sure some were cool (G.I Joe had some great effects but it wasn't anything special....). Train def makes you feel a certain way (good or bad) and does make you question and value how one needs to live life to the fullest.

Though Train will make you think otherwise, the world is still a very peaceful place ;-)

I'm packing heat the next time I'm in a weird part of the Russian Peninsula, taking the Gza's Advice ...."I got ya back but ya best to watch ya Front, cause it the niggas who front, they be pulling stunts...I got ya back but ya best to watch your front..."


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